Seduction - Seducing The Woman Of Your Dreams

Dating and flirting is fine. You romance the woman and woo her, but finally, for a lot of men (and we're not being judgmental or stereotyping) it all boils down to one thing - getting her into bed. Sometimes it just happens without any planning or premeditation. You just may be one of those lucky ones where she's as hot for you as you are for her. But not everybody is so lucky. A lot of men have to make it work for them.

In fact it's probably a lot easier if you're already in a relationship and you know she's keen on you. That's half the work done. In that case you have to just assess her mindset, whether she's willing, and work on that.

However, if you're not in a relationship and you have to start from scratch, you've got your job cut out for you. It calls for hard sell, finesse and technique. You have to have it down to a fine art. It's akin to one of those programs you see on Discovery. An animal scouting for its prey and moving in for the kill!

So let's take the more difficult one, which involves an unknown woman and your fantasies about her. You might either have one in mind already; you might have seen her walk down your street or across a crowded room. Or you might not have anybody specific in mind but would like to get started.


1. Pick the venue

The bus stop isn't an ideal place to seduce a woman. The atmosphere isn't conducive and a woman waiting there would normally have somewhere to go, an agenda and busy day ahead. A coffee shop, nightclub, pub or even a gym may be a better place. Women here tend to be more approachable and the ambience lends itself to trying out your seduction technique.

2. Zero in on the woman

Survey the room and pick the woman of your dreams. The object of your fantasies might be sitting at the next table at the bar or across the room. If you're in a pub or a club, unless she's really close, the crowd and music will make it difficult to initiate any exchanges from a distance. If she's at the next table, start making eye contact. Be bold and hold her eyes. If she lowers her eyes and catches your glance again, it's a positive sign. She's interested. If she turns away and doesn't catch your eye again, you haven't immediately caught her attention, she's otherwise engaged or she's just indifferent.

3. Floor her with your charm/attitude

Make your way towards her. If she's at the bar for instance, sidle up on the stool next to her and smile. Say something charming and sweet. If you use standard pick up lines, it may sound too practiced or worse yet, she may think you do this kind of thing all the time. You could start with a simple "Hi, having fun/enjoying yourself?" If she's receptive, start striking up a conversation. Try and keep the focus on her and get to know as much about her as you can. If she's with friends, be polite to them but send out the message that you're only interested in her. Work a few compliments in. Start with seemingly casual and friendly ones like "You've got an infectious laugh" and work towards more intense ones like 'Love the way you fill out that dress.'

4. Let your actions speak

Seduction is all about being mentally alert and attuned to the vibes the woman is sending out. If you think she's warming up considerably towards you, start getting touchy. You may touch her elbow to make a point, the tip of her nose if you're teasing her. Start with something light and casual. Try and keep the tone flirtatious, the mood sexy.

Ask her if you can buy her another drink. Now start working towards getting her number. If she refuses, persist but don't make a pest of yourself. Use gentle persuasion. Be innovative. Tell her you'd like to get back to her with details about that yoga class you were talking about earlier. It should be something that piques her interest, yet she knows your real motive, so she can use it as an excuse for actually consenting to give you her number. A lot of women don't like appearing too ready and willing.

Stick around till she leaves and tell her you'll be in touch soon!

If she just isn't willing to give you her number, you'll have to try another time, another day with another lady.

If she asks for yours, give it - you've got nothing to lose, but there's no guarantee she'll actually call you. And if you're really keen on her and didn't manage to get her number, try getting some clue to how you can track her down through her friends, where she works, lives etc. Continue to woo her, send her flowers, etc. You might wear her down.

5. The actual seduction

If you did get her number and really want to capitalize on the chemistry you sensed between you two, don't waste time calling her. If you sensed really positive vibes, call her that night itself just to tell her you couldn't get her out of your mind. She'll feel really wanted and desired. Or call her the next evening on the outer side. If you call her the same night, you might have higher chances of success at securing another date, as she might still be feeling mellow after the evening out. Ask her out on a date, either at a quiet restaurant or another intimate setting.

6. Plan it

Plan everything about your next meeting - it will be crucial. The place, what you wear, if you're planning to give her flowers, pick her up, have her meet you there etc. Impress her with your chivalry. Open the car door for her; if she meets you at the venue, be there early. Stand up when she walks in. Do a double take. Women love getting dramatic reactions from guys as long as it's not too over-the-top. Give her a warm hug, a light kiss; keep it simple, but warm and direct. Also, ensure you've chosen a place/table where you can both sit together not on opposite sides.

Throughout the dinner, set the mood. For instance, when you're ordering, ask her if she'd like oysters and tell her with a naughty gleam in your eye, all about their aphrodisiac nature. If she responds in kind, you'll know you're going to have a great end to the evening.

Keep talking about her interests, work, family etc. If she seems open to it, start caressing her lightly, brushing an imaginary strand of hair away from her face, tucking it behind her earlobe, running a finger down her arm - you get the message!

7. Invite her over

If the dinner has gone really well, start dropping hints about continuing the evening. If she doesn't respond, you'll need a few more dates. If she picks up on it and responds, go ahead and ask her to come over and check out your etchings! It could be on the pretext of the standard "Just for a cuppa coffee" or even a straightforward, "Don't want the evening to end."

8. The climax

Make sure that you've not left a mess behind and your place is in a semblance of order. Better still; keep the lighting low and the music soft. Create the right ambience. You want it to be an indication of how things are going to be.

As soon as you get in the door, for heaven's sake, don't start groping her. You'll undo all your good work till now. Take her hand and lead her in, or even kiss her, but gently! Avoid the Neanderthal man act by pushing her up against the door, save that for when you're really familiar with her.

Judge from the kiss how far you can take it. Once you're settled on the couch and if she seems up for it, kiss her again, deeper this time. Caress the nape of her neck; work your way to all her erogenous spots. Don't play it hot and heavy, you want to arouse her and yet have her begging for more.

Focus on her and you won't be sorry. Maybe let her take the lead too, you've been doing enough work haven't you? Don't rush things. Compliment her beauty and her assets. Make her feel desirable and like your own personal Venus.

Work your way towards the bedroom or have your wicked way with her on the couch. Whatever you do make sure you keep playing her a like a fine instrument, firm yet gentle and with loads of passion!

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