The Best Way To Bring Up A Child

Education of children received much attention at all times. But times replaced each other, and accordingly, approach was absolutely different. To leave a child alone – and allow him growing into an independent person, or not to leave him at all, supervising each step. Certainly neither that, nor other variant cannot be used without reservation. Well, what to do? How to choose golden middle, and whether it exists in general?

Children grow up…

It would seem, only recently you removed your child from a pot, bathed him, did lessons together. And here your daughter already does manicure, son has a shave, and both secretly visit pornosites. Both aspire to independence and show it in all possible ways. But it doesn’t matter. Life all the same will present them necessary lessons, and they will understand that freedom is an expensive thing.

They will have to pay for it by adult character, professional solvency, ability to build their requirements proceeding from possibilities. What about adults? Why do they move to an opposition camp from native and understanding people?

Because for many people feeling of likeness includes also a property component.

Say “no” to jealousy

A child belonged to us (and had nothing against it for the time being!), and here we are only a part of his world. This – alas! - is inevitable, but many perceive this fact very painfully. Parental jealousy – is a very destructive feeling. It is especially terrible, for example, has grown up a child alone.

It always seems to us that nobody can take care of our child, as we do. We know his illnesses, likes or dislikes, fears. And we hardly admit to ourselves that children grow from their fears, habits, illnesses. They do not wish to remember it, and we remind them of it. We forget that these memoirs are dear to us, not them. We also become angry about them that they do not wish to share our nostalgia on their childhood. But after all they, people not managed to outgrow the childhood, are also name infantile, “mother’s” sonnies and daughters. Bringing up a child totally dependent on us, parents do not represent at all, what a hole they can dig for themselves in an old age. Because inevitably a day will come, when their child will have to make critical decisions. And he cannot do it and is afraid. The joke on this theme is very indicative.

Two young women talk.

- My patience comes to an end, - one speaks. – we’ve been together for three years with my husband, and he always repeats “mum” and “mum” at any occasion!

- Well, you should confuse him, - another speaks. – put on black lacy linen, stockings, garters. When he appears on a threshold, open a dressing gown and rush to him!

They meet next day.

- Well, how’s business?

- Terrible! He saw black linen, gasped and said: you are all in black! Something happened with mum?!..

Love without self-renunciation

How do you think, this woman can be envied? And it is interesting, how long her marriage will last? In families where there is tactfulness and respect for each other’s feelings and tastes, where parents are keen on work, have a hobby, good sense of humour, where parental functions are carried out harmoniously and naturally, problems between senior and younger happens much rarer. Parents do not press on children with love adjoining on self-renunciation. Such love is very heavy.

Appearance of children in our life does not deprive us of right to want something, study, love and wish someone, make plans for the future. Certainly, these plans will be corrected taking into account children. Just life of two generations will go not one at the expense of another, but being lived together both in grief and pleasure. In such variant of family community children, as a rule, are not brought up “specially”. They absorb family philosophy and a way of life during life. This family philosophy assumes that people live under one roof because they are native and love each other. And the duty in this case is perceived, as something self-evident.

There is love for children, instead of a life for the sake of children.

There is pleasure at the sight of loved daughter’s or son’s face, instead of bitterness from the thought that your child’s heart belongs to someone else.

There is a mad pride from creative and vital victories of a child, instead of pity to yourself because of unfulfilled plans.

Also there is no desire to impose your own way of life on a child, by the way, together with your mistakes

We want it or not, but our children grow. They start feeling close in the world created by us. And if we wish to remain in eternal sincere relationship with them, we should understand and release them in time. No matter how paradoxical it may sound.

Council of a psychologist on how to raise children correctly:

1. Grow together with your children.
You should know their tastes, interests, a manner to communicate, what, in their opinion, is good or bad. It is especially appreciated by children of teenage age and senior. They will always go on contact with you, if they understand you are